It’s Britney, bitch
Sometimes the stars and the planets align and everything comes together to work out just perfectly. Last night on network television was just one of those nights for me. Just the week before I'd considered quitting watching Glee because the season premiere bored the hell out of me. Last night's Britney Spears episode changed all that, at least for another week. The episode raised my gay levels to off the charts and I enjoyed almost every minute of it. (Lea Michelle, you may be able to sing but you can't dance. Stick to your strengths, boo. That ...baby One More Time was just uncomfortable to watch.)
First off, that was some of the fiercest choreography I have ever seen and I have seen all 3 Step Up movies. It even rivaled that of Ms. Spears back in her hey day. Heather Morris' choreography was on-point and she looks so much like the actual Britney that at first I found myself confused as to who was on screen. She came out the gate and kilt* it on first the performance of "I'm a Slave 4 U". I normally don't approve of children dancing with adults but I almost didn't even notice them dancing around here. Shout out to the little fat kid in the bottom right corner of the screen who was hitting the moves just as good as his skinny little counterparts. You go, Chunky Monkey! Represent for all us former fat little kids who can shake a tail-feather.
The second performance of "Me Against the Music" was my favorite. Brittany and Santana are probably my two favorite characters on Glee and it was great seeing them reenact the Britney/Madonna video. Heather Morris had already kilt the choreography in "I'm a Slave 4 U", now she just unearthed the dead body it and kilt it again. That performance seriously made me consider quitting my job on Friday and trying to give it a go at becoming a back-up dancer on Monday. Depending on how my week goes that still may be an option. I'm honestly surprised that I didn't spontaneously break out into choreographed dancing down my aisle today. There's always tomorrow, Wednesdays are always a heavy meeting day for me.
If all the Britney and dancing wasn't enough they went and turned this episode into a gay boy's wet dream by having Uncle Jesse be a guest star. Now, most of America might refer to him as "John Stamos" but in my heart he will always be Uncle Jesse. The very first man I ever had a crush on. (Jonathan Knight of the NKOTB was the first guy I wanted to marry, but Uncle Jesse was my first crush. Yeah, I was 6 when Full House started airing. So what? I was fast in the boys department.)
All these things came together to make my favorite Glee episode to date. It left me saying gimme more when the episode ended. Sadly, I don't see how Glee will be able to top this episode but for the time being I will continue to watch and see what they do.
Here's a clip from the show. For some reason all of the YouTube clips are backwards, as if you're watching it from inside the television screen. If it bothers you, like it does me, come join me at my house for a Glee viewing party. I'm sure I'll be watching the episode a few more times this week trying to learn all the moves.
*kilt = No, I'm not misspelling it. Killed is one thing. Kilt is on a whole other level of massacring it.
Confessions of a Would Be Back-Up Dancer
For the past few weeks I've spent countless hours watching some of my favorite movies in preparation for the release of the third part in one of the greatest film franchises in my world. No, not Star Wars, The Godfather or Lord of the Rings. Today I watched Step Up 3D. This was the first movie I've seen where I can honestly say that it wouldn't have been the same without the 3D experience. And that wasn't just the quarter bottle of tequila on a nearly empty stomach talking.
I don't know what it is but I have always loved cheesy dance movies. I'm not a huge fans of the older classics such as Footloose, Dirty Dancing or Fame but rather the new batch like Step Up, Honey, Center Stage (even the second one) and Save the Last Dance. If it has group choreographed dancing I'll watch it and learn the steps. In the case of the original Step Up, I watched it 5 times ... in theaters.
Ever since 3rd grade when I joined the Drama & Dance Club, I realized that I had a knack for picking up choreography steps really, really quick. Now I can't always do them as there are some things that my extra pounds make me incapable of doing but I do pick up on the mechanics of them very quickly. When I was younger I always wanted to be a backup dancer for Janet Jackson, Madonna or Britney. I still remember the breakdown of Janet Jackson's "If" video and that came out when I was in Jr. high. In high school, I'd spend hours in my room learning the steps to "...Baby, One More Time" and *Nsync's "Tearin' Up My Heart". It took me all of 20 minutes of watching the Pussycat Dolls workout DVD, while sitting on my couch and not participating, to learn the chorus to "Don't Cha" and be able to do it step-by-step the following day in the parking lot at work. What can I say? It's a gift. I guess it's one of the only good things I inherited from my dad. I was never witness to it but at his funeral they spoke about how even though he was a "large" man, he was completely light on his feet. Well thanks for that one, pops.
A few weeks ago I finally completed one of my "Before I'm 30" Bucket List items. I mastered one move on a pole. No, not a "fitness" pole, but a stripper pole. I can now fully spin around twice. Maybe it was the 8 weeks of doing push-ups on P90X or the fact that I was pretty buzzed or maybe it was just a certain something in the air but I grabbed a hold of that pole, lifted myself up and spun around twice with my knees up at my chest. I did it three times just to make sure the first one wasn't just some sort of fluke. It was truly a sight to behold. And before you ask, no, there are no pics or videos to speak of. If you want to see it, you've gotta make it rain just like everybody else.
