Grammy’s Recap
I normally like to watch all major awards shows on East Coast time so I can live Tweet with my friends from NYC. Since I couldn't find an online site to stream it easily, I caught up on some Pretty Little Liars while avoiding Twitter and Facebook to prevent any spoilers. I watched the Grammy's on the West Coast feed and decided to jot down what I probably would have tweeted anyway.
When did Snooki learn to sing like that? Oh ... Sorry Christina.
Jennifer Hudson - DAAAMN Weight Watchers worked good for you.
Aretha, please wear a hat. The hat will heal you.
Ricky, we always knew you were gay. There is no need for silver pants. None whatsoever.
An egg? Sit down, Stefani. Sit down.
Lenny Kravitz - I'd still hit it.
Bruno Mars, cut your hair and start wearing some sunscreen. WTF is Janelle Monae playing? B.O.B. the fact that you got on a monocle made me drop mine.
Miranda Lambert has a VERY round head.
How much we wanna bet Justin Bieber calls Usher "daddy" when they're behind closed doors?
Justin Bieber's performance looks like a scene out of Mortal Kombat. He's Johnny Cage, SubZero and Scorpion are there.
Why is Jayden Smith wearing cheetah print pants?
Usher's outfit looks like he's in the gay Starfleet.
Why is Kim Kardashian there?
Lady Gaga's outfit looks like George Clooney's Batman outfit with those rubber ass cheeks.
Whitney Houston inspired you? Sit down, Stefani. Sit down.
Who the hell is Mumford & Sons? 'Cause the lead singer ... I'd hit that.
Dude from Lady Antebellum either has a huge package or the Grammys gave him a boner.
Dude from Lady Antebellum - the huge package and/or boner is still there.
Jamie Foxx - Shut up.
Dear Cee Lo, I love you. It looks like a parrot, a muppet and a knight from the Round Table all came together to make a baby - and it works!
Gwyneth Paltrow - you can sing and I love you, but for the love of God don't go trying to release an album. I'd have to go back to disliking you if you did. Also, I LOVE your shoes.
Katy Perry, I love you more.
Nicole Kidman is smiling so damn much because she recognizes that Katy Perry recycled the heart from the Moulan Rouge "Lady Marmalade" video.
Eminem looks good.
I'm sorry, who just won Best New Artist?
Matthew Morrison clearly liked the hair relaxer Details magazine gave him when putting him on the cover.
Is Barbara Streisand Jennifer Aniston's long-lost mother?
Nicki Minaj, I'd say WTF? but let's not act like we're surprised.
Eminem, I can see your underpants. Now smile, you just won.
Go home, Diddy. Go home.
Did Rihanna sacrifice something to some tribal gods to get Wheelchair Jimmy's legs to work again?
Lady Gaga, what's with the shoulders? Sit down, Stefani. Sit down.
Arcade Fire, never heard your music before but why do you need two drummers?
I'm so quick to judge. Meh, everyone needs a hobby. Judging is mine.
Let Your Light Shine Bright
This week the entire Internet has been all over Greyson Michael Chance, the 12 year old singing sensation who covered Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi", posted it on YouTube and was on national television 3 days later. The second real YouTube star, following Antichrist Justin Bieber, to earn immediate fame and a record deal from YouTube. I give Greyson props though, the kid can sing like nobody's business. He's definitely got talent. Hopefully he won't fall prey to the same overproduced beats on top of which the Biebs sings "Baby" 18 times in a row and calls a chorus.
I'd like to point your attention to another YouTube "star" though. For every Justin Bieber and Greyson Michael Chance there are thousands upon thousands of people who don't get the same attention or success. It's one of these YouTube unsung heroes to which I'd like to introduce you to today. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Timmy Dumot.
I'm a full-grown adult and I don't know the lyrics like this kid does. I would also never have the balls to dance around in front of people in an outfit 3 sizes too small, much less to let it be videotaped. Timmy may not have the talent, voice or side-swept bangs that Justin and Greyson have but he does have heart. Timmy doesn't miss a beat even when his parents try and sneak into the spotlight by providing some unneeded backup vocals and pants-less backup dancing. He can do the back-up harmonizing for himself (03:51). At 03:33 Timmy breaks it down, takes it to the floor and shows us just how fierce a grade-schooler can be. I applaud you, Timmy. When I was your age and singing Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted Snake" I didn't put as much heart and soul into my performances as you do.
Keep your head up, little man. Justin Timberlake didn't win when he was on Star Search but that just left the door open for him to join the Mickey Mouse Club. You may have not have gotten yourself a record deal from this video but you have definitely secured a spot in my heart and in the hearts of tens or even dozens of others. Just keep that budding diva attitude in check until you really make it big. Then you can create an alter-ego and have him dish out the Sasha Fierce attitude to your parents when they're ruining the video.
Lady Gaga performed for years in bars and clubs before she gained worldwide success. For now just focus on your craft, find your own Mama Knowles to dress you properly and keep on letting that light shine bright Timmy.
