California Gurls

It's that time of year again. Longer days, hotter nights, trips to the beach and late night bonfires have arrived. Summer is officially here and with that the summer anthem that will be bumped from the speakers of cruising cars everywhere. This summer, in California anyway, the anthem is Katy Perry's "California Gurls". The song is everything a summer anthem should be: upbeat, easily danceable and with a chorus that even the drunkest of summer party goers can easily sing along to.

Katy Perry wrote the song as the West Coast answer to Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind". Something current to show that California knows how to party. The problem with Katy's Ode to California though, was that she only focused on a specific type - the Southern California Girls, the beach bunnies in their daisy dukes and bikini tops. Where "Empire State of Mind" called out different types of New Yorkers, from the Dominicanos on Broadway, to the good girls gone bad, to those on the corner selling rock, "California Gurls" sticks to the stereotypical idea of a California girl. Now I'm not saying that they don't exist here in multitudes, but there are plenty of other types of California girls here that Katy could have sent a shout out to. How about calling out to the take-no-shit divas down on Crenshaw Blvd or up in Oakland, the field worker mamasita picking strawberries to flavor the popsicles you melt, or the chola with the hoop earrings riding around in her 1998 Honda Accord SE in East LA (or East Salinas for that matter). Move those electric blue bangs out of your eyes and take a look around, Katy, we have plenty of California Gurls for you to choose from.

Now I'm not totally knocking it. I still love the song and bump it from my car every time it's on and sing along. I just think being a native Californian herself, she could have done a better job of being an equal opportunity employer in her music. Where I have a serious problem is the video.

For all we know that video could have been shot in a warehouse with a green screen somewhere in Japan. Now I get that due to filming budgets and the high cost of blue wigs, record labels find cheaper places to film their videos, not always at the location they claim to be in. But could you have at least featured California in your video in some sort of fashion? Even the palm trees were made out of candy. Come on, Katy. REPRESENT! You know damn well the sort of budget mess we're in in this state. You could have gotten more tourism to our state by showing off the beauty we have to offer. Now all we're going to get is an influx of diabetics coming in to find the gummy bears that roam the streets.

A Candyland theme, Katy? Really? I'm all for pushing the envelope with your videos. Doing things outside the norm to keep raising that bar and giving us new and exciting videos but when your song talks about how beautiful the Golden Coast is, you could have at least featured it in there somehow. There is no California in that video anywhere and the idea is not even original. Fergie already did that theme, with a lot less CGI, in her "Fergalicious" video. Do your research, baby girl. I did. She even will.i.am to wear an oddly colored suit and everything.

Would you please do me and every Californian out here a favor re-shoot the video? You don't even need much money. Take a look at this homemade spoof called "California Gays" which even features a cameo by my future BFF, Guy Branum. It probably cost them all of $47 to make and they were able to make a great video and show off the true spirit of the state. Now these gays right here, they are true California Gurls who are fine, fresh, fierce and got it on lock.